Now that you have caught your spouse in an affair and have decided that you would like to file for legal separation, annulment or divorce, how do you then prove that your spouse committed adultery? In some places proving adultery is tedious while in other places circumstantial evidence can be used as concrete proof. In other countries, especially where divorce is not legal, a double standard exists in proving adultery. For the wife, circumstantial evidence is enough to prove and accuse a woman of adultery while for the husband explicit evidence of the man having sexual intercourse with a woman other than his wife is needed to prove adultery. In any legal battle, rock solid evidences are needed for proving adultery, such as:
- Photographs. Photos of your spouse with his/her paramour in intimate moments in public places or in front of his/her lover’s home would be good proof although it may be considered as incidental evidence. However, photos of your spouse and his/her lover caught in the sexual act would be considered rock solid evidence.
- Testimonies. Written testimonies from neighbors or your spouse’s co-workers who have seen or have knowledge of your spouse’s affair would be additional evidence that can be used in court. You can also gather testimonies from staff where your spouse and his/her lover had their rendezvous.
- Cell phone records. Obtain phone records of your spouse and check on frequently called numbers that are not yours or of any member or friends of the family. Check on this number and try calling them to determine who owns it.
- Travel records. Obtain the travel records of your spouse and his/her lover and see if they coincide or if they have travelled together to and from certain destinations on the same dates.
- Computer data. If you have access to your spouse’s desktop computer or laptop then try to download his/her emails to and from his/her lover. If you can find his/her chat messages with his/her lover then download them too and keep them safe. Although this would be hard to do because of security measures you can still make a copy of the computer’s hard disk and use it as evidence later.
- Legal documents. Documents such as the birth certificate of a child other than your children where your spouse is indicated as one of the parents or DNA tests to determine the parentage of a child are rock solid evidence that cannot be challenged in court.
One advice is that in any legal battle refrain from using your children in proving adultery as much as possible because it will be painful and disturbing for them to do so. Going through the process of proving adultery may be expensive, difficult and upsetting and you would need solid evidence to be able to do so. But if it is the ending to your relationship that would make you move on then you have no choice but to go through the process.