Some disturbing observations plucked from the Internet to amuse, bemuse and confuse. According to a recent search on my part, I came across some interesting findings. The search was about adjustable beds and sex. Why, you may ask, am I looking up sex and adjustable beds? Because I can! Also, out of curiosity, I wanted to see for myself if sex in an adjustable bed is better, just as good, or worse than sex in a regular bed. To my surprise, there is practically nothing written about the subject.
Could it be that sex and adjustable beds don’t mix…hardly… no pun intended. I only received about one million hits on Google for the combination of “adjustable bed+sex “. A Yahoo search returned even more flimsy results. Of the total hits, finding any information at all other than the odd promotional blurb from an anonymous manufacturer or two trumpeting a snippet of “better sex ” thrown in the middle of an ad. Here is an example of one very racy ad “It’s an investment in good sleep, good rest, and good health, and good sex! “. Hardly an endorsement you can take to the bank…or should I say, bedroom.
Based on a worldwide population of billions and an Internet community of hundreds of millions, I must admit I was somewhat taken aback by such meager results. I was hoping to see research results from major medical institutions providing the most up to date statistical data on the pros and cons of sexual physical interaction on a movable platform. I was then going to proudly present those findings to the world and confidently proclaim…. “Sex on an adjustable bed is better than sex on a regular flat bed! ” I would receive the Kinsey award for sexual research! I could see the sale of adjustable beds and matching satin sheets and pillows skyrocket! Alas, poor moi, it was not to be.
There might be some secret association of adjustable bed owners that have sworn a blood oath to never disclose the true bliss achieved by having sex on an electric adjustable bed. It is the ultimate conspiracy, propagated by elitists to deny access of information to the rest of us. Obviously Google and Yahoo play a huge role in this cover-up. I would not be surprised if I was blacklisted by all major search engines for uncovering these disturbing findings.
Sorry, I got carried away a little…well, actually quite a lot. In reality, I suppose, good sex is just plain good sex, regardless of where it is being performed. An adjustable bed may add a certain variety, position-wise, and I am sure that it can help some people with certain physical conditions feel more comfortable during sex, but, alas, it is still just a bed, not a sex toy… unless of course, you want to make it one. Good luck.